Get Yourself a "Haver"

A famous line of rabbinic tradition from before the times of Jesus was this: "Acquire for yourself a rabbi, and get yourself a haver.

This was essential for disciples. Following a rabbi wasn't the only thing that made you a disciple. Just as important was who you were following a rabbi with.

A haver (pronounced "hah-vair") literally means a friend. This wasn't just any kind of friend. A haver was a friend who would help you master the text. These were co-disciples who would help each other grapple with Scripture and interpret it in light of the surrounding culture.

This is hard to grasp for westerners, because we have been taught the practice of solitude, silence, personal relationship with God...and seeking Jesus is something that takes place in quiet rooms; not in small groups. Personal prayer and Bible study has been taught as the primary methods to develop spiritually. We attend Bible classes and small group studies, but it is still very individualistic...and you know what, God has still worked.

But Jesus seems to teach, just like other rabbis of his day, that God's presence resides in the presence of small groups determined to seek Jesus just as much as he resides in the personal closets of intimate prayer and study.

Years ago, I was told by an elder of a church that there was no need for accountability because we are only accountable to Scripture. Interesting. I couldn't disagree more.

We need people who can ask the big questions with us. We need fellow Christ-followers can help us as we interpret Scripture in the 21st century. I need people who will kick me in my tail when I'm mistreating the gospel and hold up my hands when I'm passionately pursuing the things of God.

There was a time in my faith walk where everything was very private and personal. I didn't see the need for community, but the more I read Scripture, the more I saw another way...a better way.

Now, I can't imagine myself without havers.

Bye-Bye Cowboys

Where do the Cowboys go from here?
Jerry Jones isn't going anywhere. The dude has money, power, and the 8th wonder of the world.
Wade looked defeated long before the game was over.
Romo was the Romo of December. He was running for his life like McCoy when he was running from the Huskers. (I just had to throw that one in there)
The defense didn't play that bad. The offense put them in some awful situations.
Do they fire Wade and go after Cowher?
Do they give Jason Garrett a shot?
Do they keep Wade and give it another year?

Props to Favre. I think he retired during the 1st quarter and decided to come back 7 minutes later. The dude is 40 but he can still play.

I did think it was classless that the Vikings would go for it two times on fourth down when the game was already out of hand. If I were Brooking, I would have taken a 15-yard penalty and a possible fine and I would have put my helmet in Favre's chest before he made it to the sideline. The "D" still has to stop a team even if it is bad sportsmanship, but they have felt it.

Too many questions at this point. But, I'm a fan and I'll remain faithful.

Megan Cope--A Great Teacher

This is a must see from my dear friend and mentor, Mike Cope. You'll be touched!

Marriage Counseling--"Don't Do It"

Randy Harris is known for his great preaching and his unique sense of humor. Randy can tell a story and have the place crying because they're laughing so hard. As a preacher, I've sat there before thinking, "I can tell that story and make it work too." Then, I tried it and received the cricket-response. I'm not the only preacher guilty of failing miserably when it comes to reproducing a Randy story.

On a more serious note, Randy has the gift of celibacy and he laughs at the fact that people come to him for premarital counseling. He jokes that his premarital counseling consists of one meeting and one word, "Don't!!!" Randy jokes about his one-word counseling sessions, but there are others who are promoting this message, especially when it comes to celebrities and high-profiled athletes like Derek Jeter. I'll get to that in a minute.

Kayci was on a flight to see one of her best friends in California a few years ago. She was sitting next to a guy and he noticed the ring on her finger.
He said, "Are you married?"
She said, "Yes, I am."
"How old are you?"
"23."
"Oh...so this is your starter marriage."
"Uh...starter marriage?"
"Ya. In California there is a starter marriage that's only supposed to last a few years. Then, after you've gained a little bit of experience, you enter into a longer marriage."
Kayci said, "Actually, I'm in this one for the long haul."

And the conversation was basically over after that.

Check out this column by Robert Lusetich who writes for Fox Sports regarding Derek Jeter's engagement to Minka Kelly.

Is Derek Jeter really ready to settle down?

The New York Post is reporting that the Yankees captain is prepared to walk down the aisle with girlfriend Minka Kelly come November. I’m not saying he shouldn’t — at 35, maybe it’s time to tie the knot and start a family. What I am saying is that marriage will require what we’ll call a "change of lifestyle."

Jeter spent a lot of time over the past couple of years with Tiger Woods, and I’m guessing they shared mutual interests. Rachel Uchitel, the attention-seeker whose loose collagen-enhanced lips helped ruin Woods’ life, claims that she was one of those mutual interests.

The only reason Jeter has been spared the Inquisition that devastated the Tiger Woods brand was simply that, unlike Tiger, Derek was single — and therefore held to a different standard. So what if he was using the Victoria’s Secret catalogue as his little black book? Indeed, there’s many a man who’d give him a standing ovation.

But be sure, Derek, that if there’s a wedding ring on your finger, your every move will be watched. Don’t think for a second that the predatory New York tabloids won’t be keeping a very keen eye on your nocturnal habits.

If there’s one record in sports Jeter doesn’t want to break it’s the one recently set by Tiger: 20 straight days on the front page of the Post.


OK. Part of the article had a place where you could vote and answer the following question, "Should Derek Jeter get married?"
The three choices were:
A) Yes, he's played the field long enough.
B) No, he should wait 5 to 10 years
C) Never burn that black book...never

Over 52,000 voted and the results were:
A) 48%
B) 16%
C) 36%

A quick side note, I admire Jeter's baseball skills. The dude is the epitome of an all-star shortstop. Though I hate the Yanks with a passion, I have a ton of respect for this guy. And Minka Kelly has become a favorite of ours because of her role as Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights.

Back to the topic of discussion. Needless to say, the expectations of marriage aren't very high anymore. The greatest threat to marriage in our world is not same-sex marriage. The greatest threat to marriages in our world are poor expecations, the inablility and unwillingness to enter into a covenant, cheap thrills of gratification through porn or inappropriate relationships. Too many people who live under microscopes like athletes, actors, and even ministers, too often begin to believe that they are above standards and the norm. They begin to think that they are worth the money they're paid and the praise they receive. Such power seems to always lead to destruction...the Bible bears witness to that.

So, I could go on complaining about articles like this, or I could go home and commit to loving my wife in a way that our marriage becomes an example worth modeling.

Simplicity

I've written a few times recently on the importance of Sabbath; not as a box to be checked but as a discipline that keeps us oriented with God and invested in relationships.
Simplicity is going to be a word that drives me and my family this year. Kayci and I had a good conversation about this recently concerning what it might look like for our family.
I'm passionate about a simpler way of living because life becomes too complicated because we often make decisions that lead to chaos...not peace and joy. This is true for:
-Individuals (we over-commit and use poor methods to establish priorities)
-Families (allow the kids to sign-up for too many things and watch too much tv instead of sitting down at tables)
-Churches (think that adding more programs and ministries is what it means to be involved)

Kayci and I have decided that we want to have more fun in 2010. Sounds simple because it is.

I'm going to assemble a community of friends who help me make decisions concerning my schedule. I need this accountability because I can easily allow my schedule to get out of control.

Personally, I am not going to allow my closet to get any bigger. If I get a new shirt, new pants, or new shoes, that means that a piece of clothing has to go. Last week, I turned every hanger in my closet around. Whatever hanger has not been moved by the end of April will have to go. If I'm not wearing it, someone else should.

As a family, we're going to begin a discipline in an attempt to become better stewards. Every piece of clothing we by for the 4 of us or any item we purchase for our house (not including food), we will match whatever we spend, penny-for-penny, and that money will go to a greater cause such as Touch-A-Life, IJM, or other acts of service.

The "simple life" sounds good, but it sure can make life complicated. :)

Check this out by Donald Miller.

A Man Named SUHHHHHH!!!!

Here's a tribute to the most dominant defensive player I've seen on the college level in my lifetime.

Sabbath Day

I'm trying to stay away from email and the internet on my Sabbath Day, but I'm breaking my rule for the next few minutes.

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We had a great time in Texas, but we're glad to be home. We put way too many miles on our CRV. I am incredibly grateful for DVD's. Truitt watches them. I hear them. We both can sing along with them.

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Tomorrow, I'm going to write on "simplicity." Kayci and I have had some very productive conversations on how we plan to simplify our lives.

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Props to my Huskers and Cowboys. Both are playing incredible defense. I'm a happy football fan.