The Bible and Babies

It is necessary for me to begin my post with these words from Isaiah, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts."

I don't get infertility, and I need to be reminded of Isaiah 55 when I engage in the following conversations.

When Kayci and I began trying to have our first kid, it took about eight months before she got pregnant. Eight months seemed like forever. Don't get me wrong, it was fun and gratifying (sorry mom and dad if you're reading this), but it was eight months of delayed "periods" until Kayci would walk in the room and say, "Not this month, Honey."

But eight months seemed like eternity. It was enough for us to question if something was wrong with us. Were her eggs not fertile? Maybe something was wrong with me?

Eight months is nothing compared to people who have tried for ten, fifteen, twenty years. It is nothing compared to the men and women who have been told that they will never have kids.

And honestly, the Bible doesn't seem to offer much help here...at least when it comes to someone who suffered from infertility, only to remain infertile.

There are a lot of fertile people in Scripture. It seems that every one-night-stand results in a pregnancy:
Judah and Tamar: one night=conception.
David and Bathsheba: one night=conception.
If this were the case in Hollywood, the show "Friends" would have had been a show about pregnancy. Phoebe, Monica and Rachel would have looked like Jon and Kate Plus 8with a number of kids to walk into the Coffee Shop on the corner.

In Scripture, when we read about a barren woman, lights are flashing to make us aware that something is about to happen. Sarah, Rebekkah, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth...they are barren, but their barrenness bears witness to God's ability to perform a miracle in the elderly. He speaks life into barrenness and the children become major characters in the unfolding drama of God's activity to redeem people.

I wish there was a woman in Scripture who was barren and she died that way...not because I wish depression upon someone, but as a way to give us someone to relate to who struggled with infertility yet they leaned on God's provision all the way to their death. Some people argued that God closed Michal's womb, but what we read is this, "And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death." I don't think it was because of God's wrath, but rather because "it" never happened again between David and Michal.

I had a friend whose wife did the "in vitro" thing and it didn't work. In our conversation I responded with something like, "Sarah was 90 when she was pregnant." For some reason (wink-wink), that didn't bring much comfort. His response was, "So you're telling me that in the year 2075, we can expect our first child?"

I witness so many teenage girls who are far from ready to nurture children who become pregnant. And then I think of a number of people who I am extremely close to, who are in healthy marriages with the desire, passion, and ability to raise children to the glory of God...and I can't help but pray, "God, why would you not want to place a child in this family where they will be raised in a home that has been dedicated to the Lordship of Jesus?" I know people right now who would give anything to experience morning sickness, backaches, and swollen feet just to have a baby growing in their belly. And all I get is Isaiah 55, "...my thoughts aren't your thoughts...my ways aren't your ways..."

For all of you out there, QUIT going up to young-married-folks with questions like, "When are you going to have kids?" or "You just turned 30. You're running out of time" or "Isn't it time..." because you have no clue what kind of salt you are pouring into wounds. You don't know how many of those people wrestle in prayer every single day over this.

I know that God has worked through adoption in some powerful ways and I praise him for that avenue. It is truly a beautiful thing.

For those out there struggling with infertility, may the God who spoke life into the world speak life into your barrenness. May the power of Jesus that was able to heal diseases by one touch, be upon you. I pray for God's favor to rest on you.