Marriage Counseling--"Don't Do It"

Randy Harris is known for his great preaching and his unique sense of humor. Randy can tell a story and have the place crying because they're laughing so hard. As a preacher, I've sat there before thinking, "I can tell that story and make it work too." Then, I tried it and received the cricket-response. I'm not the only preacher guilty of failing miserably when it comes to reproducing a Randy story.

On a more serious note, Randy has the gift of celibacy and he laughs at the fact that people come to him for premarital counseling. He jokes that his premarital counseling consists of one meeting and one word, "Don't!!!" Randy jokes about his one-word counseling sessions, but there are others who are promoting this message, especially when it comes to celebrities and high-profiled athletes like Derek Jeter. I'll get to that in a minute.

Kayci was on a flight to see one of her best friends in California a few years ago. She was sitting next to a guy and he noticed the ring on her finger.
He said, "Are you married?"
She said, "Yes, I am."
"How old are you?"
"23."
"Oh...so this is your starter marriage."
"Uh...starter marriage?"
"Ya. In California there is a starter marriage that's only supposed to last a few years. Then, after you've gained a little bit of experience, you enter into a longer marriage."
Kayci said, "Actually, I'm in this one for the long haul."

And the conversation was basically over after that.

Check out this column by Robert Lusetich who writes for Fox Sports regarding Derek Jeter's engagement to Minka Kelly.

Is Derek Jeter really ready to settle down?

The New York Post is reporting that the Yankees captain is prepared to walk down the aisle with girlfriend Minka Kelly come November. I’m not saying he shouldn’t — at 35, maybe it’s time to tie the knot and start a family. What I am saying is that marriage will require what we’ll call a "change of lifestyle."

Jeter spent a lot of time over the past couple of years with Tiger Woods, and I’m guessing they shared mutual interests. Rachel Uchitel, the attention-seeker whose loose collagen-enhanced lips helped ruin Woods’ life, claims that she was one of those mutual interests.

The only reason Jeter has been spared the Inquisition that devastated the Tiger Woods brand was simply that, unlike Tiger, Derek was single — and therefore held to a different standard. So what if he was using the Victoria’s Secret catalogue as his little black book? Indeed, there’s many a man who’d give him a standing ovation.

But be sure, Derek, that if there’s a wedding ring on your finger, your every move will be watched. Don’t think for a second that the predatory New York tabloids won’t be keeping a very keen eye on your nocturnal habits.

If there’s one record in sports Jeter doesn’t want to break it’s the one recently set by Tiger: 20 straight days on the front page of the Post.


OK. Part of the article had a place where you could vote and answer the following question, "Should Derek Jeter get married?"
The three choices were:
A) Yes, he's played the field long enough.
B) No, he should wait 5 to 10 years
C) Never burn that black book...never

Over 52,000 voted and the results were:
A) 48%
B) 16%
C) 36%

A quick side note, I admire Jeter's baseball skills. The dude is the epitome of an all-star shortstop. Though I hate the Yanks with a passion, I have a ton of respect for this guy. And Minka Kelly has become a favorite of ours because of her role as Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights.

Back to the topic of discussion. Needless to say, the expectations of marriage aren't very high anymore. The greatest threat to marriage in our world is not same-sex marriage. The greatest threat to marriages in our world are poor expecations, the inablility and unwillingness to enter into a covenant, cheap thrills of gratification through porn or inappropriate relationships. Too many people who live under microscopes like athletes, actors, and even ministers, too often begin to believe that they are above standards and the norm. They begin to think that they are worth the money they're paid and the praise they receive. Such power seems to always lead to destruction...the Bible bears witness to that.

So, I could go on complaining about articles like this, or I could go home and commit to loving my wife in a way that our marriage becomes an example worth modeling.