Saturday, July 25, 2009

Relational Pong

When I was in college we engaged in all forms of prank-wars. It was all about fun and one-upmanship. What began as fun became a war of out-doing someone else. The pride inside refused to allow someone else to "out-prank" you.
For example (I'll keep it rated PG):
We had community bathrooms and it wasn't unusual for someone to steal your towel while you were showering.
The next day you would hide a half-full gallon of milk in his dorm room.
When we moved off campus as juniors, one of our buddies stole a trampoline from a girl's house. The next day, her friends stole our dog.
Then, towards the end of that year, things got a little out of hand.
My roommate Jacob was a hunter. After killing a turkey, he cut off the turkey claw, stuck it in an envelope, and mailed it to Hailey.
A few days later, some brownies showed up at our house. It wasn't unusual to have cakes or brownies in our home. Three of us were in serious relationships and we always had people over. My friend Jay and I were cutting into the brownies when we were unable to cut through a piece. After working at it for a few minutes I picked the brownie up, only to discover a cooked turkey claw.
Back and forth...back and forth...

Throughout life we engage in all different forms of relational pong (an image used by Rob Bell). It is called revenge, retaliation, violence, one-upmanship, eye-for-eye, tooth-for-tooth.
"You put something into my court. I'll put it back in your court."
"You hit me. I will hit you harder."
"You kill one of mine. I'll kill one of yours."
"You bomb me. I'll bomb you back."
"You said what about me? Well, you're a ___!"
"They wrote what about me? I'll write something back."

We engage in relational pong.
Marital pong.
National pong.
Racial pong.
Political pong.
Social pong.
Religious pong.
Theological pong.
Blogging pong.

Where does it stop?

Jesus entered into a world that operated out of an "eye-for-eye...tooth-for-tooth" mindset. In the OT, forgiveness was something that God did. There doesn't seem to be a continual charge or expectation for humans to forgive humans. The result was disastrous. Fathers turned against sons and sons against fathers. Brothers killed brothers. Friends killed friends.

Jesus comes and says, "It stops with me. It stops at the cross. It stops at a cross-shaped life."

If anyone had reasons to strike back, it was Jesus. Yet he came saying things like:
"If someone hits you, turn the other cheek."
"If someone steals your coat. Give them your cloak."
"If you want to become one of my disciples, you must deny yourself, and take up a cross daily, and follow me."

The Christ-paradigm, or the Christ-pattern, is all about death and rebirth. It is about death and resurrection. As we enlist ourselves into this pattern and rhythm of life, we drop our swords, we loosen our tight fists, and we transform hate speech into something more redemptive and liberating.

I'm convinced that the call of Jesus is, "Stop with the relational pong. People in this world will not come to know me by your persuasive arguments and/or dominate force. They will be drawn to me because of the way you love each other."

2 comments:

  1. I just listened to Bell's sermon with that image today. It's solid. I think forgiving is one of the most basic and central acts a Christian does. To be Christian means that we stop playing relational pong, but that's easier said than done.

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  2. Luke,
    "Easier said than done." Forgiveness just doesn't sound fair or just. It doesn't make sense.
    It would be one thing if Jesus just taught us to pray it. It is another thing that Jesus lived the prayer He taught us to pray.

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